Abusive Love Hate Relationships
Abusive relationships have too many variables to mention in
one piece, but for the most part, they must be mentioned, since
hope is available. Contrary to love and relationships, abusive
relationships are built on love and hate.
The victim of an abusive relationship often loves their partner
and hopes that someday the person will change, which it never
happens. The other component in the relationship has a deep
buried hatred and uses the mechanisms that humans require to
control his or her mate. The hate is often buried deep and
exposes itself when an emotion is touched by the mate. The
person will ever strike out in public, attacking another person
of the same gender, but it does happen.
The mate showing love to his or her lover often hears “I am
sorry, it won’t happen again. I was just mad.” The person
with hate buried inside often makes excuses for his
or her behavior and the partner often believes the lies
throughout the relationship.
Abusive relationships come in many forms. In other words,
doctors, lawyers, cops, judges, poor, or other class of people
can be the hater while the mate is the lover. The person filled
with hate will often use the mate as a punching bag when he
or she feels angry. The anger is buried deep, thus the partner
can trigger the mate under any circumstance. In other words,
a wrong word that is not wrong to someone else could ignite
an emotion that strikes out at the target.
Love and hate relationships are the worse kind since someone
always gets hurt. Statistics show that every 3 minutes a woman
is battered by her mate, thus in some instances killed. The
ongoing problem needs a resolve, since lives are at stake,
therefore, I am writing this article in hopes they someone
will listen and get help now.
A good relationship is based on trust, love, and faith and
sharing. When one partner is giving more than the other partner
this is not love. When one partner trusts that his or her partner
is faithful and the partner is out spreading it around like
the plague then someone is going to get hurt.
Nowadays, it is next to impossible to find pure love. Good
men often find women that treat them ill, while bad men are
mistreating women badly that their views of men diminish over
time. Good women often find men that cheat, lie, or take them
for granted, thus finding a good relationship nowadays is next
to impossible.
Persons in an abusive relationship often remain with their
partners regardless of the level abuse, since the hater has
their self-esteem and confidence torn down so badly that they
believe that no one else wants them. Even if they do have a
shred of dignity left, they are often threatened that if they
leave the abuser will hurt or kill a family member, friend,
or the partner. The law is no help, or offers little help to
partners of abusive relationships. Rather, in most states the
cops have allowed murder before acting upon the crime. This
happens too often, thus the law is not in the favor of the
person believing their partner will change, rather they are
in no one’s favor but the predator him self. History will backup
my every word on this topic, thus I am not holding back any
punches.
Thus, if you are in an abusive relationship you may want to
consider what love and relationship really means. If you are
believing that your mate will change you are wasting valuable
time and co-depending him or her in their ungodly behaviors.
Love does not hurt, rather love makes a person feel hope, secure,
confident, and ready to take chances in life. Love offers hugs,
kisses, respect, trust, and a hand when times are hard.
Breakdowns in Love and Relationships
Nowadays, there are scores of breakdowns in love and relationships.
People join in relationships nowadays with one going one direction
and the other the opposite direction. Thus, dreams are an element
of relationships that determines if two people will last. If
one person intends to move to California to continue a career
in engineering and the other person wants to live in the local
area they now currently live to continue his or her career,
something has to give, or else a breakdown of the relationship
is on its way.
One person I befriended lived for the woman that he fell for
and started a relationship. The person was successful in his
career, yet the woman needed to continue education in another
area to start her successful life. Once the woman started college
away from her mate, the relationship soon illustrated signs
of deterioration, until gradually the two drifted apart. His
heart was broken and what followed was confusion of his direction.
In other words, when relationship severe breakdowns, often
the separated will find it difficult to move on in life, especially
if one or the other felt they met their soul mate.
Breakdown in relationships may also stem from adultery, outside
relationships when no marriage is involved, abuse, lack of
communication, lack of trust, lack of compatibility, and so
forth.
When compatible companies join, they often feel they have
a lasting relationship. However, scores of people supposedly
compatible combusted and separated when they found that their
compatible traits collided. On the other hand, incompatible
mates have also found it difficult to continue a relationship,
while others found that their relationship was the relationship
of a lifetime.
Relationships built on trust; honesty and communication often
last longer than those that do not. Communication is THE leading
element that makes business relationships, intimate relationships,
parent/child relationships and all other relationships work
productively. If there is no communication, or lack of communication,
gradually any relationship will fall apart. Communication leads
to trust, honesty, hope, respect, and so forth.
Respect is another element needed to make any relationship
work productively. If there is, lack of respect the arrangement
is sure to fail. Respect is broader than what many believe.
Thus, respect is greeting a person as ‘sir’ or ‘maim.’ Nowadays,
if you greet someone with the salutation sir or maim you will
probably hear, “My name is…”
Respect is also considering persons privacy. In relationships,
men and women alike go through their mate’s purses, wallets,
or other personal possessions, believing they have the right
to do so, or else believing that the mate is cheating. This
is a disregard to the mate’s privacy, thus is a form of disrespect.
Unless your mate gives your permission, you do not have the
right to nose through their belongings. If you suspect your
mate is cheating, rather than invade their privacy and disrespect
them, open the chain of communication and speak to your mate
respectfully without accusing.
Commitment in Love and Relationships
Be capable of committing one self is required, since love
and relationship is built on commitment. Commitment is a promise.
Commitment requires the ability to uphold promises made to
another individual. The wedding vows at one time committed
two in matrimony, thus committing them to love one another
through thick and thin, better or worse, sickness and health,
and until death ended their love.
When a person commits to another, they are targeting the person’s
mentality and emotions when failure occurs, since commitment
is a consignment to a disciplinary or mental institution. Thus,
joining in marriage or relationships outside of marriage, or
even in friendship, commitment is the element that initiates
the arrangement.
Controlling Love in Relationships
Why do people stay with mates that control and dominate them,
thus taking a large measure of their freedom in relationships?
The obvious answer is that the person lacks self-esteem and
confidence and may feel that he or she cannot find love elsewhere.
Children often link mates together even if one of the partners
is controlling and dominating the other.
Are men mostly domineering and controlling? No. women can
be domineering and controlling as well, and I have analyzed
two case scenarios were the women in the relationship had full
control. One case scenario a woman coming from a background
of abuse met her soul mate through friends. The two joined
and together they had six children combined. The woman who
penalized them with threats if they failed to adhere to her
demands controlled all the children and mate.You
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as long as they contain the following
author:
(Jim Boxley)
Please visit my website at: http://www.nitchsites.net
or http://www.articleshopp.com
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